26 of my favorite things
I read a piece in Man Repeller a while ago called “Ordinary Things That Bring Me Extraordinary Joy,” and immediately loved it. It introduced the idea of “pet faves”—as in the opposite of pet peeves—or small things that bring you immense satisfaction or everyday joy. And I thought it was perfect for a birthday blog post, given that my birthday blog posts are essentially a study in cultivating gratitude. Birthdays are an appropriate time for reflection, and on this birthday, I’ve decided to take stock of the things that I love deeply and endlessly, ones that make life so worth living.
These are not life-changing moments, but that could be their true magic. I’ve always thought that it’s the small moments in life that make the most profound impressions. They are universal and familiar, filling you with so much warmth and comfort that when you think of them, your soul is instantly soothed. Wholesome moments of pure happiness that remind you that there is still good in the world; tiny, impeccable indulgences that you may not even know you crave but are even sweeter when discovered organically. Because nothing in life has inherent meaning, but it is the meaning we give intentionally to things that makes a world of difference. And giving mental space to the good things rather than the negative things can be incredibly refreshing. So here are my pet faves, simple pleasures that bring me genuine, inexplicable joy.
26 of my favorite things
1. that first sip of ice-cold water when you wake up thirsty in the middle of the night
2. that glowing, infectious happiness you feel at weddings
The most magical thing about weddings is always the escapism—the complete and utter bliss of twirling on the dance floor on a night free from cynicism and full of love. Watching the newlyweds take their first steps into a new life, feeling as though you’ve stepped into a fairytale removed from the harsh realities of everyday life, alight with the rosy glow of optimism and wild, overflowing joy. A perfect slice of space and time, happiness bottled in a snowglobe.
3. city streets decorated with christmas lights
4. seeing people come together for a common cause
Heartwarming human interest stories on social media are irresistible to me, but what I really love is a collective effort to achieve a common goal. When I was in Singapore in 2017 during the inauguration, my friends participated in the Women’s March in different states and cities, and I cannot describe how my heart swelled to see it. Most recently, watching all of the people gathered in Times Square and San Diego, seeing every state in the country come together in favor of impeachment was just...an amazing display of democracy and a really beautiful thing. It is truly terrible circumstances, but at the same time a really incredible reminder of the resilience of the American people.
5. revisiting things from your childhood
I recently found some picture books in my parents’ house that I’d forgotten about, and the colorful illustrations brought so many memories rushing back. There’s a particular comfort in nostalgia, a longing to manufacture that same impossible happiness you felt as a child. For me, I’m reminded of all the nights I fell asleep with my head full of stories, dreaming of Wild Things and pancakes and quiet rooms and adventurous fruit bats.
6. being complimented on your makeup by a woman you don’t know
7. quiet, grey mornings in the city after that first clean layer of powdery snow
A lot of people hate New York winters, but I treasure the mornings when you wake up and everything is dusted in fresh snow; when the rooftops are covered and snow is still swirling softly through the air and everything feels new. I like when the morning air is so cold and crisp and sweet that it feels as though it’s hollowing out your lungs when you breathe in. I like the stillness, like being in a silent film, that early-morning serenity when the world is still waking up and everything feels deliciously slow as you watch the scenery through frosted windows, reveling in its charm before you leave the coziness of your apartment for your morning trek to the train station.
8. quiet nights away from the city
For a while after Kevin moved to the city, I was going back and forth to Brooklyn a couple of nights a week, and I always forget that one of the downsides of actually living in Manhattan is that you don’t get to witness the beauty of the whole skyline in the quietly humming evenings, slowly switching on. As the warm, dusky hues of sunset fade into the deep blue of night, the city comes glittering to life, lights twinkling in the inky river water below. And all you can hear is the low rumble of the subway car, the click-clack of the tracks as you cross the bridge and move into the night, watching the constellation of lights from a distance, feeling like an outsider, but not in a sad or lonely way—you’re just suddenly aware of all of the life and vibrance and excitement taking place just across the river.
9. the excitement of learning something new and interesting and the impulse to share it with someone
10. when cats snuggle close to you and you can feel them purring
Cats are fundamentally misunderstood creatures and they show love in much different ways. Our kitten, Fish, loves everyone—he’ll burrow into your elbow and make biscuits like his life depends on it. Mia prefers to sit in the same room with you, at a distance. But every night, she’ll crawl into bed between me and Kevin and fall asleep tucked under my arm, and it’s the cutest, most tender thing because I can always feel the low rumble of her purring and feel her breathing, and I know she feels incredibly safe and loved. It makes me want to cry, because it took a lot of work, and I’m so grateful that I could finally make her feel that way.
11. wrapping yourself in a warm blanket
There is literally nothing more inviting than a freshly laundered comforter still warm from the dryer. Fresh laundry makes me so happy. I feel more put together and relaxed when my laundry is done; I feel as though everything in my life is in order. And the warmth and the scent of it is one of my favorite sensations, especially on cold winter nights.
12. receiving hand-written letters and cards
13. finishing your skincare at night
What always makes my night feel complete is taking a hot shower and taking time to carefully layer on all of my Korean skincare products. It’s my favorite part of the night; the ritual of applying everything is very soothing and it makes me feel settled in. And afterward I always feel like a happy little slug, all slimy and plump. I cannot overstate the comfort I feel when I return home from a trip and can do my full skincare routine.
14. unlikely animal friendships
15. seeing the first glimmer of the ocean on a roadtrip
This was actually from a Medium piece I read about how Marie Kondo relates to Japanese Buddhism:
The word she uses in Japanese, “tokimeku,” is an intransitive verb that means to throb or flutter. Think of the feeling you get when you see your crush, or when you take a turn on a mountain highway and can finally see the ocean. That’s tokimeku.
I remember this feeling in Big Sur last year, when we drove around the side of the mountain, past the trees, and we caught that first glimpse of ocean, sparkling in the sunlight, a perfect ombré of blue and turquoise.
16. creating something you’re truly proud of
I spend a good amount of time on this blog, so it feels exceptionally satisfying to put out things I’ve taken care to make really good. There’s nothing like pressing “publish” on something you’ve written your heart and soul into, and having it exist for the sake of existing. But it’s also equally gratifying when people love what you’ve created too.
17. eating something so good that it renders all prior versions of it irrelevant
18. being surrounded by people you love and laughing so hard your stomach hurts
19. that realization when you’re traveling that the world is so big and beautiful and that you are so lucky to see it
I can pinpoint several times in my life when I’ve felt this. In the middle of the Grand Bazaar in Turkey, listening to the call to prayer. In the remains of Tuol Sleng, the prison camp and torture center of the Cambodian genocide in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. On the steps of Sacré-Cœur overlooking the twinkling lights of Montmatre in Paris. On top of Arthur’s Seat in Edinburgh, Scotland. On a jetski skimming over the sun-glittered waves in Manuel Antonio, Costa Rica. All of those places I’ve felt remarkably small, in the best way. It used to be a couple of standout moments as a child, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gained an appreciation for almost every place I’ve been, an understanding of the cosmic chemistry that led me to be in this place, at this time in my life, amidst everything. It’s a wonderful feeling, and one I’m acutely aware that I am lucky to know.
20. seeing the golden veins of city lights from the plane window
I always love this because it means I’m home, whether that’s New York or San Diego, but that inexplicable excitement makes my heart flutter every single time, no matter how many times I fly.
21. seeing the early fingers of sunrise paint the sky
I don’t like waking up early, but I do like being up early. The pastel watercolor magic of early morning, the hopefulness of a new day, the serene quiet as the world wakes slowly and easily; it’s a simple thing to enjoy, but it feels simultaneously like a well-kept secret and something shared between you and everyone else on earth.
22. hugging someone you love after a hard day
I can’t quite articulate it, but you know when you’re feeling emotionally drained and full of negative energy, and then there’s that one person that just kind of recharges you and makes all of that negative energy melt away? That is priceless.
23. the aroma of freshly-baked cookies filling the air as you take them out of the oven
24. giving someone the perfect gift
25. introducing friends to one another and them getting along
I pride myself on being very selective when it comes to friendships and also having very good friends—the best compliment I’ve been given is that I have very nice friends, because I think your friends are a reflection of the kind of person you are. And so introducing them to one another makes my heart so impossibly full, because it’s all of the people I love in one space. Truly one of the best things.
26. coming home after a long day or an event, taking off your makeup, taking a hot shower, lighting a candle, and slipping into bed in cozy pajamas with a hot mug of tea
27. acts of kindness